"Locals excited about online drivel": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the news today by text that the locals at Betty Lou's Cafe, where all the coffee is double strong, and where whipped cream is included in the base price---the guys are very excited that nonstop, incoherent, digital drivel has replaced traditional news---- One seasoned pro, Billy Bob, the famous bass fisherman, spoke for the whole group when he said: "Yup, now I don't have to even listen and analyze what is in the news....its all nonsense and noise and is just not stressful for me...I just tune it out...It's just background noise...I don't think I could go back to actually thinking about it."