Unfettered Regulation Guru takes TWO BILLION in Losses: Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Jay Me Diamond, the chairman of Billy Bob Banking and Hedge Fund Investments in Normal, Mn. announced in a conference call after the market closed yesterday, that due to poor performing hedge investments that the bank had not been properly informed of as to their risk exposure, the bank had suffered a TWO BILLION dollar loss. These losses had been in "inventory" which slick wall street operators use to hide trades that are proprietary but are classified as "inventory not otherwise classified". Previously in the month, when asked about the possible exposure to these type of losses, he urged the press not to make a "tempest out of a teapot." At the press conference, he said that the "teapot was larger than expected." He took no blame for the losses.