Poor Boy sells everything to "Avoid the Fiscal Cliff": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

Just got the text today that Jimmy John, the poorest of the poor from Normal, Mn....sold everything he had today at dirt poor prices...he had been watching FOX news and got scared...he thought the fiscal cliff was gonna wipe him out...so in his fear...he just wiped him out himself....your prayers are requested from the guys at Betty Lou's Cafe...where all the coffee is served double strong... where there is no extra charge for whipped cream...